Sometimes a good cry makes everything better.

I don't know what I would do without my sisters.


An older sister is a friend and defender, a listener, a conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights. And sorrows too.

Pam Brown
Sit still said her father. Quiet said her mom:

So she sat still and quiet.
 As an unexploded bomb.

That's a poem called "Sit Still," by JonArno Lawson, from his poetry collection Think Again


And here my thoughts wander

It pleases me to  report that our house is nearing completion. I never thought I would say this, but  I am suffering from mixed feelings. As I type right now, I am in our little rental house. It's small, but cozy and the kids are never out of whispering distance. Now, please don't mistake my apprehensive thoughts for not being super stoked... I am  very excited to reap the rewards of all our hard work. We have been looking so forward to this moment... But I am a bit  nervous, nonetheless. Our new house is bigger than we are use to and my bedroom seems like miles away from the children...  What if one of them has a bad dream? What if they get scared? What if they need me at night? Not to mention in our current rental home there are only two ways in and two ways out. So I feel very secure at night. In the new house, there are eight ways in and eight ways out. That is quite bewildering for someone who suffers from, sometimes very severe, OCD. Even though we have purchased a very high tech security system, I will still be checking  the locks on all eight doors every ten minutes.
WARNING: I interrupt this post for a painful flashback...

When I was little, I grew up in a very large home. It was beautiful, bright and full of life. A perfect place for five kids to run around and cause all sorts of calamities. But night time was a different story. It was dark and I was alone. The worse part about the night would be when I would have to go potty, that's when the real  panic would set in. The first task I would have to face would be jumping far enough away from under my bed so no one hiding under there could grab my feet. Then having to sprint down a ten mile hall was nothing short of horrifying. Not to mention all the closets I had to pass that were satiated with evil clowns and monsters. It was enough to draw any small girl to tears on a nightly basis.The most scary part of all this? I was so far away from everyone else, I could have been eaten alive, ripped apart limb by limb, rendering me completely useless to stand any kind of a chance... and no one would have ever heard me screaming. They would  just have to discover  the wreckage of my marred body desisting  in that olympic size  hall.

The only thing more bloodcurdling than the bathroom trips? The night my parents went out on a date and the power went out.

I swore then I would never make my own children live in such conditions. Of course, our new  house isn't nearly as big as my childhood house... still, their bedrooms are so far away... from me. What will I, I mean, they do at night if they become affrighted?


House Happenings
These are not the house pics. Those are still coming. These are just pictures 
of us enjoying the building process. Did I say "enjoy"? Hmm, that's right...
I believe I did. 


You know how I adore a good quote...

 This one came from my oldest son, Garrett.

"You know, I'm just a cupcake stuck in a world full of muffins."

He's got quick wit. I love that about him.


I should hang this on Liam's wall.

I am certain he thinks this is why he was put on this earth.
Silly boy.
This is good...

In the external scheme of things, shining moments are as brief as the twinkling of an eye, yet such twinklings are what eternity is made of. Moments when we human beings can say "I love you", "I'm proud of you", "I forgive you", "I am grateful for you". That's what eternity is made of: Invisible, imperishable good stuff.

~ Fred Rogers


I would hang all of these pictures and dozens more on my wall. But since I
don't have said pictures made into art, I shall just hang them on my blog.


Let us create our own world together,
And we'll live happily ever after.



I'm in the spirit

G.O.B.: Anyway, it involves us making some money with our Mexican friends from Colombia.
Michael: I think they’re called Colombians.
G.O.B.: Oh, I forgot, we’re being politically correct now.

Michael: I just haven't met anybody who's not completely self-absorbed and impossible to have a conversation with.
Lucille: If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

Buster: What do you expect, mother? I'm half machine now.

George Michael: Yeah, I'm gonna need a leather jacket for when I'm on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide...
Lucille: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.

Michael:You were flying today, buddy.
Buster: Yes, I was flying. But a little too close to the sun.
Lucille: You let him go in the sun?

Maebe: Didn't you get a job or something?
Tobias: No, no I didn't. Unless... you consider "World's Coolest Daddy" a job.

Bob Loblaw: I thought that maybe I would stay in and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Ah, yes. The "Bob Loblaw Law Blog". You, sir, are a mouthful.

Great news for my fellow Arrested Developement fans
By Lyndsey ercanbrack

 Will Arnett (GOB) confirmed that the Arrested Development feature film should go into production sometime this year."I'm so glad you asked that," joked Arnett, who has been questioned about the series' fate since it went off the air in 2006. "It's very refreshing. We are working on the movie right now, yeah... We don't have a completed script yet, but it's forthcoming and we're going to make the movie this year. "When asked if he thought the cameras would actually roll before year's end, Arnett seemed resolute. "That's the plan," said the actor in earnest, before deadpanning, "We're hoping once Jason Bateman gets out of rehab. I think that we're going to start shooting. Oh, was I not supposed to...? Please don't air that."

information provided by


Some things about me

1. I can be very Blunt
Blunt, but tactful... most of the time
I have no patience with sugar coating
I kind of like that about me 

2. I am not really that strong of a person
I just play one in real life 
For a very long time I thought I was unbreakable
I have since been humbled

3. I still need my mom
When I was young, my biggest battle was being homesick
I cried on my honeymoon, I missed my own bed
When I hurt,  I still want my mom

4. I would be lost without music
The thought of having to go without music makes me feel like I could suffocate
All my thoughts are put to music
It's sacred to me. If I can't appreciate it, I won't listen to it

5. I have insecurities
I won't put these out here, as I am kinda insecure about this topic

6. Sometimes I need to just cry
I don't want you to fix my problems, I just want  you to let me cry for a bit
Sometimes crying refreshes me
When I cry, my lips double in size and my nose gets swollen
(Then I cry more because I look so woebegone)

7. The fastest way to my heart is through laughter
I am a sucker for quality humor...To me, the dryer the better
I can't stomach slapstick or crude humor. I'd rather slice through my wrist with cardstock
Although I am completely won over by laughter, I prefer sad stories 

8. I have taste... and it's expensive
I just always have
I don't necessarily like this part about me
I'm working on it

9. Interior design and Architecture are in my blood
While other little girls were playing dolls, I was in the woods laying out fort floorplans
I hated barbies, but the few times I would play with them, I was only interested in remodeling their homes
I started begging my dad to take me to home shows at age nine

10. I am blessed
My husband is amazing, a great provider and loves us so much
My kids are healthy, brilliant and  undeniably sumptuous
And they are mine for eternity



"You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the
car you drive. You are not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f%$#@*%g
 khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

-Tyler Durden, Fight Club

And This

 "Where did you get that pistol?"
 "At the gettin' place."

-Carla and Llewelyn, No Country For Old Men


Brandon, Brody and I did this a few years back. And no, we hadn't been drinking.
Although whenever the Valerga's get together, I am sure who ever is around us would beg to differ.


Nadia, the most precocious, sensational girl to ever  grace this planet. There is just something so extraordinary about you.  Everyone that has the pleasure of knowing you, loves you. It must be because your spirit stands out in shining contrast to the rest of the world. Your keen sense of intellectual curiosity astounds me, and your creativity is almost magical! Your desire to recycle and reuse everything, (everything!!!...) is a very admiral trait and you are a great example to the rest of your family. All of these amazing traits bundled into such a beautiful little girl leaves my with just one question...  How did I get so lucky to have you as a daughter?

Happy 8th birthday my baby girl, I love you!!!


 In the words of MXPX
Responsibility, What's that?
 BY Lyndsey ercanbrack
Today I kept all my kids home from school. I call it their "Get out of jail free card". I have to shamefully admit that I  love keeping them home from school. I would prefer them all be elementary school drop outs. Of course, that would be my selfish side talking and thank heavens for them, I can see that may not be so helpful to their futures.

Yesterday they watched The Goonies for the first time. Have I completely failed as a mom? When I was growing up we watched that quality film  everyday until my parents went out of town and left my grandma in charge. We were doing our usual thing, watching the movie, when the naked statue part came on. My sweet and old fashioned, yet totally hip and modern (that's a different story) grandma came into the room. That was the last time I ever watched that movie...  Until yesterday. The kids loved it. They laughed at all the same parts we use to laugh at.  Was it the most appropriate movie I could have shown them?

                  Yes. Definitely. 

Ok.   No.   Probably not.   But I turned out ok...?  Hmm, maybe they shouldn't have watched it after all.

 Back to the story at hand...  Today, we are going to have a great holiday. First, we are going to clean. Then go grocery shopping. Then go to the new house so I can keep my painters and my cabinet guys from killing each other. Then go to the  Fabric store and find the perfect shantung silk for the drapes in my living room. Then go to Nordstrom so I can pick up that beautiful dress and fur coat I knew I should have bought yesterday. Then come home and clean some more. Then go eat at Texas Roadhouse. Then go to Remedies spa and have facials, chocolate massages and coconut cream pedicures. Then come home and watch Grey Gardens. Then... Oh wait, this was suppose to be THEIR  holiday? Ok, then we'll  skip all that and just go to Joe's Crab Shack and call it a day.
If anyone needs tips on how to be a good mom...

I'll give you my sister's  number.

Actually, I think I'm doing an ok job... because...  they  are perfect.
I just have to say...  I love you.

I wish I could take all of my beautiful friends and loved ones on an adventure around the world. 

And do it just because I love you so much.

And ...  I am feeling grateful today...

And...  I love that I can come  here and express this to you...

And...  I don't mind saying this because, I know you don't care if I say that...
because you love me...

And...  I probably have four people who read this...
(love you, mom)

But I would take all four of you with me.

And... That's all.
Soul touching read

My friend told me about this heartbreaking, devastatingly touching  and very real blog.
Take a minute to read it and your perspective on life and it's frailty  may change.



Car Talk

Sorry, this is not going to be as exciting as NPR's car talk... I can asure you of that. Just close your eyes and pretend this is being read to you in a male, South Bostonian accent.

The time has come to start looking for a new vehicle for me. I have done my very best with my current car, but  I can take it no longer... I tried to fit into a mold that I can't and won't ever fit into. It's true, all of the thousands of people that tell me I don't look like a minivan type of girl... I AGREE!  However,  I begged Tom to let me buy it,  I WANTED to be a minivan girl. He warned me if  I bought it, I would have to keep it for a while. It was fun and it's very convenient but enough is enough. I am over it and ready to get back to something that is more my style. What is my style you ask? Well, my heart will always belong toVolvo. I will take the XC90 please. However, because we (Tom) have a no debt policy, I am not sure I can justify all that money on a car. So, I don't quite know what to do. I can't settle, I would rather just go without. And, I may end up having to do just that. This looks like the perfect being stuck between a rock and a hard place situation. Oh, and on top of all this did I happen to mention we just paid for a new home?... And all that furniture... and those new Ugg boots of mine... and it's  almost time for my Dulce and Gabbana bag to go into retirement, that's going to mean a trip to New York for my new spring pocketbook... Is a new car really worth going without all the little things? I guess writing this has left me with more questions than I started with.


New house, new ideas, new goals, new old me.
by lyndsey ercanbrack
À vos souhaites. Et non, je ne regrette rien.


Happy Birthday Brody

Wow, Happy 30th birthday. It seems like just yesterday mom was making me miss my first day of kindergarten so I could look after you at  The Hershey Center.  I was there to make sure you weren't scared or homesick... Remeber? I cried the whole time because I was so homesick and you had to
spend the whole day trying to comfort me! You are still a great brother, uncle and best attorney on the block...
I'm  so proud of you!